Daddy, Mommy, Sissy and "Brudder"

August

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 14:47:00 +0000

This summer has gone by so fast. June is a blur at least as far as I remember. LOL
Both kids seem to be enjoying the summer. Tawnya is excited about moving into the dorms. She has her room stuffed with stuff for it and some of it is even sitting in my living room. I am excited for her, I think it will help her to mature and also give her some good memories. She is dating a really nice guy right now. Her dad and I both really like him.
Matthew has just been doing the normal stuff this summer. He lives for the weekend when he and his daddy can go fishing. That boy is so much like his dad. I KNOW God knew from the time he was conceived that he would one day be our son, so he made him so much like his dad.

So cute

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Thu, 21 May 2009 19:48:00 +0000

Yesterday I picked Matthew up from school and on the way home he said, mom if I went blind I wouldn't be able to see my presents would I. I said no, he said well if I went blind you could spit in the dirt and make mud and then put it on my eyes and tell me to go to the river to wash it off and then I could see again.
My son thinks I can do that. It was so cute.

Thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:35:00 +0000

We spent yesterday with Paul's mom and dad. It was pretty nice. I think it was the first year all the kids were there for a long time. The food was great as usual.
We had a lot to be thankful this year. We have a new addition to our family, and this was our first thanksgiving with him and his first real Thanksgiving at all. He told us last night he was thankful for his mommy, daddy and sissy, it was nice to hear. Also thankful that our daughter is doing well in college and that she is becoming a wonderful Christian lady.
My dad fought and so far won another battle with cancer this year, but nothing ever seems to get him down, his faith is beyond belief sometimes. My mom has had some more surgeries this year and is doing better. My niece has had all good reports on her small mass on her brain and it seems to be having no effect on her.
Paul's parents are doing well and the church where they are is growing all the time.
God has given us many blessings and if we sit and really think about it the good usually outweighs the bad.
This coming year we hope to have some new things to be thankful for. But daily we need to be thankful for the things God gives us each and every day.

Watching Allen Grow

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 00:12:00 +0000

This is a really old song but it has become Paul and Allen's song. Paul even has it on CD now.
He plays it for our son, of course when it gets to the part that says Scotty, daddy turns it down and says Allen. Allen just grins and loves it when his daddy plays it.

It's neat how both our kids have their songs with their daddy. Tawnya has had one for years and even bought Paul the CD one year for his birthday.

They are both lucky kids.

Sometimes we forget a lot of stuff from our childhood but music seems to be one of those things that makes memories. I can still remember my dad singing to me and still know the songs. I even passed them on to my kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OLHevJPHR8

There he sits with a pen and a yellow pad
What a handsome lad
That's my boy
BRLFQ spells mom and dad
But that ain't too bad
That's my boy
You can have your TV and you nightclubs
And you can have your drive in picture show
I'll stay here with my little man near
We'll listen to the radio
Biding my time andWatching Scotty grow
Making a castle out of building blocks
And a cardboard box
That's my boy
Mickey Mouse says it's thirteen o'clock
Well that's quite a shock!
That's my boy
In four short yearsI've gone from rags to riches
And what I did before that I don't know
So let it rain on my windowpane
I got my own rainbow
And we're sitting here shining
Watching Scotty grow
Riding on daddy's shoulders off to bed
Old sleepy head
That's my boy
Got to have a drink of water and a story read
A teddy bear named Fred
That's my boy
What's that you say momma
Come on and keep your feet warm
Well save me a place
I'll be there in a minute or so
I'll think I'll stay right here
andSay a little prayer before I go
Me and God are Watching Scotty grow
Me and God are Watching Scotty grow...

Daddy

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 01:59:00 +0000

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.
When broken bodies lay about
'And blood was everywhere,'
'The sirens screamed out eulogies,'
For death was in the air.'
A mother, trapped inside her car,
'Was heard above the noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
'Oh, God, please spare my boys!
'She fought to loose her pinned hands;'
She struggled to get free,'
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.
Her frightened eyes then focused
'On where the back seat once had been
,'But all she saw was broken glass
andTwo children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
'She did not hear them cry,
''And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
''Oh, God, don't let them die!
'Then firemen came and cut her loose,
''But when they searched the back,
''They found therein no little boys,
'But the seat belts were intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
'And was traveling alone,
''But when they turned to question her,
'They discovered she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above the noise
'In beseeching supplication,
'Please help me find my boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
'Their jeans are blue to match.
'''One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car,
'And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them there
'And gave them each a hug, 'Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.
'I've searched the area high and low,
'But I can't find their dad.
'He must have fled the scene, 'I guess,
and that is very bad.
''The mother hugged the twins and said
, ''While wiping at a tear,
''He could not flee the scene, you see,
''For he's been dead a year.'
'The cop just looked confused and asked,
''Now, how can that be true?
''The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came
''And left a kiss for you.''
'He told us not to worry'
And that you would be all right,
'And then he put us in this car
with'The pretty, flashing light.
''We wanted him to stay with us, '
'Because we miss him so, '
'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
'And said he had to go.
He said someday we'd understand
'And told us not to fuss, '
'And he said to tell you, Mommy,
''He's watching over us.
'The mother knew without a doubt
'That what they spoke was true,
''For she recalled their dad's last words,
' ' I will watch over you.'
The firemen's notes could not explain
'The twisted, mangled car,
'And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.
'But on the cop's report was scribed,
''In print so very fine,
'An angel walked the beat tonight
on Highway 109.

I'd marry the vice president...

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 13:51:00 +0000

wait, I did. With all the talk about the vice president, I couldn't pass up the chance to write about mine.
Paul got voted in last night at the club as the vice president. Pretty cool. I told him he had to come up with a joke now about the difference between a bowhunter and a pig. LOL

School is going pretty good for both kids. Allen is having some trouble adjusting to kindergarten. He doesn't like having to be quiet for most of the day and would rather be playing what he wants to. Will just take time.

Tawnya is doing great with her college classes. She has had several tests and exams so far and I think she has made an A on all of them.
She is also working after school, my hats off to her for being able to do both. I know it keeps her busy and cuts into any free time or study time, but she is enjoying her job.

Things are going good

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 21:27:00 +0000

with our new son. He starts kindergarten in a few days and now seems to be excited about it. He didn't even know his ABC's when we got him, he now does and can recognise them and write them and knows some of their sounds. He can write his name, and mommy, daddy and sissy without much help. I think he's starting to realize all the new stuff he can do when he learns to read.

Tawnya starts college this week too and she's excited about that.

I've not updated for a while and this will be short, I have been busy with getting the kids ready for school and helping to plan an Anniversary party for my mother and father in law, with the help of my sister in laws and the granddaughters. I think they are going to like it.

Pat on the Back

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:36:00 +0000

I just want to say how proud of our daughter Tawnya we are. She has been so wonderful with our new son. She has taken time to play with him and help him.
He calls her sissy and has given her one of his special toys. We were out the other day and he wanted to buy her a new turtle.

So Tawnya if you read this, your dad and I just want to thank you and say it really means a lot to us that you have bonded and are such a blessing to Allen.

We love you.
Mom and Dad

Daddy's Boy Already

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 01:31:00 +0000

Well we have our new foster son and have spent a couple of days with him now. Talk about cute. He stole our hearts from day one. He has blond hair and blue eyes, so looks like Tawnya some, made cuter by the fact he has lost his front teeth.
He is so sweet, he has good manners and just a pleasure to be around. It has started so different than our last one.
I know we are still going to come upon some problems and we have some issues to work thru but so far it's been a good few days.
He took to Paul right away, but then he has always been great with kids. Within the first hour he was here, Paul went to another room and Allen says "Daddy, where you going, can I come with you."
Then he was sitting in the backroom with Paul and he said, "Daddy I'm happy". So I believe he has his new daddy wrapped around his little finger already.
While we were at the camper this weekend, Paul went to the store to get some bee spray. He came back not only with bee spray but also some toys, hmmm. And he was thoughtful enough to buy our daughter something too. Talk about a good guy.
He has spent time playing with Allen but also letting Tawnya know he loves her, a good dad, that's a blessing for anyone.

New Foster Son

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:56:00 +0000

We got a call yesterday about a little boy who had just turned 6, will be going into kindergarten, and was in need of a good home with two parents. I can't say why he was removed or any of his background, but we talked about it and decided we would give it a try. You never know what you can help unless you at least give it a try.
So we called today and told them we would take him. Then starts the rushing trying to get things bought and put in his room, since you can't really do it without knowing what age and sex you will get.
So I have been busy, busy getting stuff ready. We will pick him up tomorrow at 2 and then Paul is taking off work friday so we can all spend some time together the first few days.
Pray for us and him that the transition is a smooth one and that it goes well. I know we will have several hurdles to overcome but it's worth the risk to try and help.
So this is short since I have so many things to finish up before he arrives.

Moving Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:09:00 +0000

After our foster son left, we weren't sure we wanted to do this anymore, it was just a lot of stress and heartache and in this case seemed to be more than the good.
For a few months we just enjoyed being the 3 of us again and being able to do some of the things we hadn't been able to do for the past 2 years. As time went on though we talked more about it and decided we would try again but this time we would request younger children and would be able to have two at a time.
So for the last month we have been getting in our hours, you have to have 12 a year, and renewing our CPR & First Aid. We have gotten the spare bedroom ready again and now we just wait.
After you decide you want to do it again you catch yourself wanting kids here again but then you realize that if you had kids here it would mean they had been abused or neglected and you don't want that. We do want to be able to make a difference for children and hope that our next experience will be better and have a better ending. But in the world of abused kids the happy ending is rarely there.

Our first Foster Child

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:47:00 +0000

This post is after our first foster son has left so some things are written in hindsight.
Our first, was a boy who was 11 when he came to us. We had originally said we would foster kids from 0-6 years of age. But after hearing a little of his story and the fact that he had asked for a mom and a dad, made it hard to say no. He had never really had either one. He had never known his bio-father and was taken from his mom for reason I can't mention when he was 4. He had lived with a great-grandmother until age 11 and after a couple of strokes and other health problems had requested he be put in foster care when no other family members were willing to take him.

We thought since he had been raised by a loving grandmother that it would be easier with him. One fault I have with the whole system is the fact that they won't tell you much info and sometimes mislead you just to get children in a home. But we agreed and said ok we'll do it.

He started calling us mom and dad from day one. There were many days in the beginning we asked ourselves what we had gotten into. We started finding out more things about his past, some I can't mention but some were the fact that at 11 he could not eat with a spoon or fork, he didn't' know how to take a shower or brush his teeth, he had no idea what toilet paper was for or how to use. You may say how could a kid that old who went to school not know. It's called neglect. His grandmother loved him but because of her age and health he had been taking care of her and not being taught what other kids are taught by their parents. Yes it goes on right here in our town.
We got past that though but soon realized that by age 11 there are some things that you can't change. So after two years of trying and things happening that got worse we had to ask that he be moved. He knew it was going to happen if things didn't change but he told us he didn't care and that he didn't' have to do anything we said and we couldn't do anything about it.
Another fault I have with the state rules. They tell these kids, especially the older ones that foster parents can't do anything more to them than take away tv, a few minutes in a chair. At age 11 they could care less about that and will tell you so. They don't have that respect for you that your own kids should, that makes them want to please you.
So after two years and many tears he was moved and we have heard it's not gotten any better, only worse.
But it was one of the hardest decisions we have had to make. I know I spent many sleepless night, wondering if we did the right thing, second guessing that maybe if we had given it one more day or week, he would have changed. I had night after night of bad dreams that he was somewhere calling for us and we couldn't get to him. There still isn't many days go buy that we don't mention him. He will always be in our hearts and will be "our son."
We just hope that someday he will realize how much we cared about him and how bad we wanted to make a difference in his life. We just pray that something we said or done has planted a seed and one day when he is older he will be able make a good life for himself.
So even though being a foster parent has it's rewards it can still be one of the most heartbreaking things you can do.

The Beginning......

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:35:00 +0000

About three years ago we as a family decided we wanted to share our love as a family and help those who were not fortunate enough to be in a loving home.
We decided after much talking to become foster parents.

It's not something you do for the money, since you end up spending more than you are ever reimbursed, it's something you do because you love children and hope that you can make a difference in their lives.

We went thru a lot of training, most just common sense things, some training that makes you roll your eyes and think wh0ever wrote this never had children and some of the training just breaks your heart, hearing some of the things you will have to deal with.

Some of the past experiences we have had you might think don't happen in a town like ours, that those things can't be right under our noses, or in our backyards. But it does exist, it just doesn't get the attention like the kids you may see on tv in other countries, but there is so much that can be done right here at home.

So this blog will be about our journey as parents of older children and our parenting of children who may be with us a week, month or years.

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:08:00 +0000

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was living by myself with just my daughter, but had started dating a wonderful guy.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Chiropractor
2.Laundry
3.Pack for the weekend
4. Pray
5. Spend quality time w/my family

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Frozen Grapes
2. Popcorn
3. Apples with Mother Earth Peanut butter
4. granola bars
5. occasional chocolate

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Buy mom & dad a new house
2. Pay for Tawnya's college
3. Build a bigger house so we could have more foster kids
4. Help some people with medical bills
5. Take a real vacation

5 bad habits:
1. Worry too much
2. Don't read/study my Bible as much as I should
3. Go to bed really early ( LOL)
4. Sometimes think too much about what I don't have instead of counting my blessings and what I do have.
5. Beeping my horn.

5 places I have lived:
1. Blair, WV
2. Logan, WV
3. Vienna, WV

5 jobs I've had or have:
1. Newspaper in Logan
2. Heidi's Hallmark
3. Olan Mills
4. Bennett Tax
5. Bowhunters Supply
(But the best job is just being a mom/wife)

5 people I want to know more about (you're tagged!):

Memorial Day

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 27 May 2008 20:37:00 +0000

The cake we got for the girls

Tawnya & Sam

Graduation

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 27 May 2008 20:16:00 +0000

May 21

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:49:00 +0000

Today is our anniversary.

Since it's wednesday night we are going out for lunch. With so much going on with graduation we can't do much but that's ok, other things are more important.

So on this day we remember we married our best friend, that we d0n't take our marriage lightly and it's Forever.

You are the love of my life _ Our song

The way he was raised

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:00:00 +0000

A beautiful song by Josh Turner

He always wore those worn out flip-flops
Spent hours in his Daddy's workshop
he loved being on the waterFishing with His friends
He always listened to the old folks
When they'd tell stories and crack jokes
Didn't talk back to his Mama
When she got onto Him
Oh, that's just the way He was raised
Had to finish all His chores 'fore He could go outside and play
they always went to church that's were he learned how to pray
And that's just the way He was raised
He grew His hair out when He got older
Grew it clear down to His shoulders
Started hanging with the outcasts
When He went off to town
Some called Him a troublemaker
Even some said a lawbreaker
No matter how they talked about HimHe never put nobody down
'Cause that's just the way He was raised
When people start to gossip, He'd just walk away
He always loved his neighbor no matter what they'd say
Oh, that's just the way He was raised
On a cross, on a hill
That longhaired boy was killed
All our sins washed away
When He walked out of that grave
Oh, that's just the way He was raised
there's no way we can measure
The sacrifice He made
He knew He had to die
For our debt to be paid
Oh, that's just the way He was raised
It took the hand of God to roll the stone away
And that's just the way He was raised
Yeah, that's just the way He was raised

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:05:00 +0000

A friend of mine has been making some cool pictures for me to use. So pretty

Fun at others Expense

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 13:14:00 +0000

Last night there was nothing on TV. So we had watched in the past a couple episodes of the show, Moment of Truth, its where you get hooked up to a lie detector and then asked questions.
It said this was a controversial episode and most of the time I think these reality shows are faked, so we watched it.
There was this woman on there with her husband and parents. The questions started off ok but then she was asked, were you in love with someone else on your wedding day. She answered yes, the lie detector said she was telling the truth, the audience clapped. Next she was asked, do you think you should be married to someone other than your husband, she said yes, again, it was the truth. Then they brought out an ex boyfriend who asked her, something about if she should be married to him instead, she said yes, again she told the truth. Meanwhile the husband was sitting here devastated. The next question was have you ever cheated on your husband, she said yes, again it was the truth, the audience clapped.
At this point I wanted her to win just so her soon to be ex husband could get the money. But she decided to keep playing. The next question was do you think you are a good person. DUH. But guess what she said yes. Now she is either delusional or has no conscience. But she was sure of her answer. But the lie detector said she lied. She lost it ALL. Not only had she lost the money but had probably lost her husband too. But I really don't think she cared. If she was that heartless to air her dirty laundry for everyone, and to say and do the things she did, I 'm sure she could have cared less about how she made her husband feel.
But it never really hit home until my husband who had been sitting there said these questions were my real life, I lived thru every one of them and the answers were the same. And he had, but I had forgotten and was being entertained just like everyone else.
Sometimes we forget what our entertainment is costing someone else. It may all have been rigged just for the show, but I know for many out there is was real life at one time.
So I want us all to remember at times we may laugh at funny shows, or things in life that may not be so funny to someone else. Sometimes our laughs may be at others expense.
It also made me wonder what damage sin has done to people's conscience that even after all that she could say she was a good person. In our own lives do we sometimes not examine ourselves enough to see if we are good. Or like her have we gotten to the point that sin doesn't bother us and we can make excuses for the things we do..

Reconnect

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:39:00 +0000

Tawnya had a wonderful time at Winterfest this weekend.

It gave Paul and I some time alone that we haven't had for two years. Our foster son was moved to another home. It has been a long stressful process but had to be done. It had put a lot of stress on our entire family and nothing was getting better as far as his situation.

So this weekend with him gone and Tawnya out of town, gave Paul and I some alone time that we hadn't had for two years.

It was wonderful. We had some quiet dinners out, some quiet alone time in.

Sometimes

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:51:00 +0000

even the right things hurt..................................

Just Because

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:50:00 +0000

My husband left flowers on my Jeep for me this morning while I was at Bible Class. No special reason. They are beautiful.

2007

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:20:00 +0000

This is the time of year businesses do inventories. So If we did an inventory of our lives what would we find.
For the most part this has been a good year. We are healthy. We have a good marriage, not just happy on the outside to convince others. After all these years we are still each others best friend, ask either of us and we'd tell you that.
Tawnya has grown into a beautiful and caring young lady that any parents would be proud of. She has never been the type to be materialistic, it matters more to her to know she is loved and put first. She knows what she wants in life and is working towards it. The most important thing is she is a good Christian lady.
The past year with our foster son has been difficult. I can't go into anymore, but we just hope some day the life lessons we have tried to teach him will sink in.
We had a scary few weeks with our neice and still not sure what the future holds but for now it's ok and in God's hands.
My dad had another fight with cancer this year, it took his voice for a while, at least on the outside. He had a clean bill of health on his last visit. But he and mom both are facing the problems that come with getting older. They can no longer drive at night. But you won't hear any complaints. They have spent their lives for God, they hardly ever miss a gospel meeting in the area but with not being able to drive at night some things change. But not the way you think. My dad finds the good in everything, even that. People know how much going to those meetings mean to them, there are now people offering to drive them to worship. People who didn't go before. My dad says this is a good thing his not being able to drive, this is the way to get people to worship. My dad has been such an example, so many people talk the Bible but not many really live it. One thing that has always shown a side of my dad, is the fact that he has had arthritas, has for years and sometimes can't even get out of bed. many times I have seen him have to use a cane or crutches. But to this day, even with all that, heart surgeries, etc, he has never gotten a handicap sticker for his car to be able to make the walk easier. He say's there is someone who needs it worse than me. Yet you see people who walk fine and just want sympathy use those. It just shows what being a real christian is about. My mom and dad both have been examples of honesty, and christian faith, God blessed me when he gave them to me for parents. My husband loves them also and they him and I know they would do anything for us.
The other blessing in my life is my mother and father in law, my husband has a wonderful relationship with his parents. They have always been there and supported us in anything we do. They have told me numerous times how blessed they feel that I am their daughter in law and what a blessing I have been to their son. But I am blessed to have inlaws that feel that way.
God has blessed our lives, not with lots of a material things that some people try to pass off as happiness but with love, and commitment to our family.
I do know that their isn't a better husband or father than the man I am proud to be married to.
So this year has been a good one, it's had it's scary times, and rough times but God never promised us an easy life, just that he would be there for us.

Christmas Morning

noreply@blogger.com (The Butterfields') — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 15:06:00 +0000

The gifts are opened and the mess cleaned up. Paul's taking a nap and the kids are playing with their gifts.
We all got up early, I guess we are all kids at heart.
I tried to teach the kids a lesson before anything else. To remember to pray first for those who wouldn't have a good day today. Derek and Erin who just lost a baby before his first christmas, Kendra and Gary who just lost a mom. Before we have fun, be thankful for your blessings and pray for comfort for those who are suffering today.

The kids seemed to like everything they got. I think they got most of what they wanted. Tawnya was really wanting High school musical kereoke for playstation, we got her a battery charger for her camera, she's always needing batteries, plus a bunch of other stuff.
Carl wanted most Ripley's believe it or not book, and he got a bunch of magnetex to build stuff.

I was really suprised at what I got. Tawnya got me a beautiful set of dishes and some glasses. Ours were getting chipped. She picked out some really nice ones. They go perfect in my kitchen. Carl got me a pen set.
Besides the dishes, Paul suprised me and got me a new digital camera, I was not expecting that. He got me and tawnya both a really nice Mossy Oak sweatshirt. He got me this foot bath massage thing that heats and massages. That is going to feel great. I got a lot of other nice stuff too and so did he.
But then he gets to open more gifts in a few weeks for his B-day, so I had to save the best thing for that.

It was a nice morning and now we are all sleepy and ready for a nap.

Sam came down Sunday night and we did christmas. I think she liked what we got her.
She told Paul she moved in with her grandma. He was glad she got away from a bad situation, but I think at the same time it hurt him that she felt like she couldn't come to him. He has always wanted to be a bigger part of her life more than anything and had that taken away from him.
I got some pics of the girls, they had on matching shirts which was cool for the pic.
I hope everyone had a good evening.