Our first Foster Child

This post is after our first foster son has left so some things are written in hindsight.
Our first, was a boy who was 11 when he came to us. We had originally said we would foster kids from 0-6 years of age. But after hearing a little of his story and the fact that he had asked for a mom and a dad, made it hard to say no. He had never really had either one. He had never known his bio-father and was taken from his mom for reason I can't mention when he was 4. He had lived with a great-grandmother until age 11 and after a couple of strokes and other health problems had requested he be put in foster care when no other family members were willing to take him.

We thought since he had been raised by a loving grandmother that it would be easier with him. One fault I have with the whole system is the fact that they won't tell you much info and sometimes mislead you just to get children in a home. But we agreed and said ok we'll do it.

He started calling us mom and dad from day one. There were many days in the beginning we asked ourselves what we had gotten into. We started finding out more things about his past, some I can't mention but some were the fact that at 11 he could not eat with a spoon or fork, he didn't' know how to take a shower or brush his teeth, he had no idea what toilet paper was for or how to use. You may say how could a kid that old who went to school not know. It's called neglect. His grandmother loved him but because of her age and health he had been taking care of her and not being taught what other kids are taught by their parents. Yes it goes on right here in our town.
We got past that though but soon realized that by age 11 there are some things that you can't change. So after two years of trying and things happening that got worse we had to ask that he be moved. He knew it was going to happen if things didn't change but he told us he didn't care and that he didn't' have to do anything we said and we couldn't do anything about it.
Another fault I have with the state rules. They tell these kids, especially the older ones that foster parents can't do anything more to them than take away tv, a few minutes in a chair. At age 11 they could care less about that and will tell you so. They don't have that respect for you that your own kids should, that makes them want to please you.
So after two years and many tears he was moved and we have heard it's not gotten any better, only worse.
But it was one of the hardest decisions we have had to make. I know I spent many sleepless night, wondering if we did the right thing, second guessing that maybe if we had given it one more day or week, he would have changed. I had night after night of bad dreams that he was somewhere calling for us and we couldn't get to him. There still isn't many days go buy that we don't mention him. He will always be in our hearts and will be "our son."
We just hope that someday he will realize how much we cared about him and how bad we wanted to make a difference in his life. We just pray that something we said or done has planted a seed and one day when he is older he will be able make a good life for himself.
So even though being a foster parent has it's rewards it can still be one of the most heartbreaking things you can do.

The Beginning......

About three years ago we as a family decided we wanted to share our love as a family and help those who were not fortunate enough to be in a loving home.
We decided after much talking to become foster parents.

It's not something you do for the money, since you end up spending more than you are ever reimbursed, it's something you do because you love children and hope that you can make a difference in their lives.

We went thru a lot of training, most just common sense things, some training that makes you roll your eyes and think wh0ever wrote this never had children and some of the training just breaks your heart, hearing some of the things you will have to deal with.

Some of the past experiences we have had you might think don't happen in a town like ours, that those things can't be right under our noses, or in our backyards. But it does exist, it just doesn't get the attention like the kids you may see on tv in other countries, but there is so much that can be done right here at home.

So this blog will be about our journey as parents of older children and our parenting of children who may be with us a week, month or years.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was living by myself with just my daughter, but had started dating a wonderful guy.

5 things on my to-do list today:
1. Chiropractor
2.Laundry
3.Pack for the weekend
4. Pray
5. Spend quality time w/my family

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. Frozen Grapes
2. Popcorn
3. Apples with Mother Earth Peanut butter
4. granola bars
5. occasional chocolate

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. Buy mom & dad a new house
2. Pay for Tawnya's college
3. Build a bigger house so we could have more foster kids
4. Help some people with medical bills
5. Take a real vacation

5 bad habits:
1. Worry too much
2. Don't read/study my Bible as much as I should
3. Go to bed really early ( LOL)
4. Sometimes think too much about what I don't have instead of counting my blessings and what I do have.
5. Beeping my horn.

5 places I have lived:
1. Blair, WV
2. Logan, WV
3. Vienna, WV

5 jobs I've had or have:
1. Newspaper in Logan
2. Heidi's Hallmark
3. Olan Mills
4. Bennett Tax
5. Bowhunters Supply
(But the best job is just being a mom/wife)

5 people I want to know more about (you're tagged!):